it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
