I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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