Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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