Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
