last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
