I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
