This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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