He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
