Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
