we're blogging at a bar
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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