PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
