ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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