This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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