we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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