so explain again why im purple
no
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
How does one acquire holy water?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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