I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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