I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You pole danced in your parka.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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