Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
