somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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