i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She bit a glass in half.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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