think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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