bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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