he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
