My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
