I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He felt like a one man threesome
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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