i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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