And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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