he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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