i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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