Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
