We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
