I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
zippers are such a cool invention
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
