the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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