We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
