): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
