Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
