i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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