Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
