you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
