I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
