Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
