i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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