i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
