She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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