When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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