We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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