if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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