remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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