I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
