Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
you made out with another girl for some wings
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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