Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
