guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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