have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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