I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
