Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
