i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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