2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
