Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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