I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
