Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
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