"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
