I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
