I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
